Archive for April, 2006

The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade…

Sunday, April 30th, 2006
The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly. “Colonel!” he spat out. “Yes, general!” the colonel quavered. “Your troops, your troops,” stormed the general. “They look very nice, they stand very nice, but they stink, man, they stink! Can’t you get them to change their underwear?”He strode away furiously. The colonel sniffed for himself. “The general, yes, he’s right. Now, Luigi change with Guiseppi, Carlo change with Giovanni…”

How come nobody from Mexico is ever in the olympics?

Sunday, April 30th, 2006
How come nobody from Mexico is ever in the olympics?Because everybody that can Run, Jump, and Swim is already over here.Sent by Paul

A bus stops and two Italian men get on…

Sunday, April 30th, 2006
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:”Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more.”"You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly, “in this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!” “Hey, coola down lady,” said the man, “Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi.”

A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend…

Sunday, April 30th, 2006
A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father’s house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying outa circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking, they hearda scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl’s feet.”What’s this,” she asked.”Taste it,” he replied, “If you like it, I’ll give you a whole one!”

A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work…

Sunday, April 30th, 2006
A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink.The Irishman said “Let’s all go to O’Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness.”The Italian said “That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini’s with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table.”The Russian said “That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof’s we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid.”"That sounds to good to be true!” the Irishman exclaimed. “Have you actually been there?”"No,” the Russian replied, “but my wife goes there all the time.”