Archive for November, 2006

Perfectly normal

Thursday, November 30th, 2006
“I’m in love with my horse,” the nervous man told his psychiatrist. “Nothing to worry about,” the psychiatrist consoled. “Many peopleare fond of animals.As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are veryattached to.”"But, doctor,” continued the troubled patient, “I feel, ummm… *physically* attracted to my horse.”"Hmmm,” the doctor asked, “Is it male or female?” “Female, of course!” the man replied.”What do you think I am…GAY???”

After years of psychotherapy…

Thursday, November 30th, 2006
After years of psychotherapy, John no longer believeshe is a grain of wheat. However, one day he and afriend came across a chicken, and John was terrified.”Why are you so afraid, you’re not a grainof wheat after all,” his friend asked.John replied, “You know it and I know it,but the chicken doesn’t know it.”Sent by Marc

Most dentists chairs go up and down…

Thursday, November 30th, 2006
Most dentists chairs go up and down, don’t they?The one I was in went back and forwards.I thought, “This is unusual.”The dentist said to me, “Mr. Owens, get out of the filing cabinet.”

Don’t you just hate it when…

Thursday, November 30th, 2006
Don’t you just hate it when you go to the doctor, and you’resitting on the examination table telling him about yoursymptoms, and with each new one you describe, he backs alittle further away?

A man went to the doctor for a check up…

Thursday, November 30th, 2006
A man went to the doctor for a check up. “How do you feel?” asked the doctor. “Fine.” he replied. After a few more general health questions the doctor asked, “How many times do you have sex per month?” “About two orthree.” the man replied. “You should be doing better than that.” the doctor offered. “Take these pills and come back in a month.” The man did and a month later he was again asked by the doctor, “How many times did you have sex last month?” “About two or three times.” the man answered again. “I can’t understand it,” the doctor continued, “you should be doing much better than that.” “I don’t know,” replied the man, “that’s not bad for having no car and a small parish.”