Archive for March, 2007

What should I do then?

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?Doctor: Sell!

Is she feeling any better?

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?Nurse: No change yet.

I have good news and bad news

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus.Patient: What happened?Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?Patient: Give me the bad news first.Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.Patient: That’s terrible! What’s the good news?Doctor: There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.

Buying a New Farm

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.The farmer says, “Alright then, I’ll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?”The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, “It’s $1.00 per word.” The brunette thinks about this and says,”Comfortable, write that.”"Comfortable?” the guy questions.”Yes, you see she reads slow.”

I Want Some Milk

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, “I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?”Gloria said, “I want 15 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath.”Alan asked, “Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?”Gloria replied, “No, just up to my waist.”