Archive for June, 2008

Way to have FUN while shopping!

Monday, June 30th, 2008
Have some fun on your next shopping trip, try these…Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like, “Pick Me!! Pick Me!!”Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme to “Mission Impossible”.When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “NO, NO! It’s those voices again!”Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.Look right into the security cameras, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”Set up a tent in the Camping Department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bed and Bath aisle.Re-dress mannequins as you see fit.Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in housewares.”Make a trail of orange juice on the ground leading to the restrooms.Try bras on over your clothes. (works very well if you’re a man)Run up to an employee, (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell at him, “I need tampons!”Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking.

You know you\’re a Teacher if…

Monday, June 30th, 2008
You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free.”You believe “shallow gene pool” should have it’s own box on the report card.You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.When you mention “vegetables” and you’re not talking about a food group.You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.You wonder how some parents even managed to reproduce.You can’t have children of your own, because there is no name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.You really encourage an obnoxious parent to check into home schooling.

Clinton movie titles…

Monday, June 30th, 2008
Some possible titles for the new Bill Clinton movie:Dial M for Monica Saving Clinton’s Privates All the President’s Women The Lying King Free Willy Terms of Impeachment Driving Miss Monica Independent Counsel Day The Six Commandments The Full Monica President on a Hot Tin Roof Red Faced in October Honey, I Shrunk the Presidency Bedtime for Bubba The Me Lie Massacre!

AirForce 1

Monday, June 30th, 2008
When the AirForce 1 prepares to land, the Captain speaks over the intercom:”The seatbelt sign is on Mr. President, would you please put the stewardess in the upright position.”

What kind of bunny…..

Monday, June 30th, 2008
What kind of bunny drinks coffee?Mugs bunny!