Archive for the ‘Bar Jokes’ Category

The number twelve goes to a bar

Monday, March 26th, 2007
|A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.”Sorry I can’t serve you,” states the barman.”Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.”You’re under 18,” replies the barman.

Some very common traits in two drunks

Monday, March 26th, 2007
|A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply.The first man then asks: “Where are you from?”"I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.”"Of course,” replies the second man.I’m curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Ireland are you from?”"Dublin,” comes the reply.”I can’t believe it,” says the first man. “I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink to Dublin.”"Of course,” replies the second man.Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?”"Saint Mary’s,” replies the second man, “I graduated in ‘62.”"This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Saint Mary’s and I graduated in ‘62, too!”About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. “What’s been going on?” he asks the bartender.”Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The O’Kinly twins are drunk again.”

Some yogurt visits a local bar

Sunday, March 25th, 2007
|Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, “Why not? We’re cultured individuals.”

Two men walked into a bar

Sunday, March 25th, 2007
|Two men walked into a bar.You would think at least one of them would have ducked.

This tells me that I must be drunk

Sunday, March 25th, 2007
|A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and askes him “every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?” The man replies, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home.”