Archive for the ‘Blonde Jokes’ Category

Buying a New Farm

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.The farmer says, “Alright then, I’ll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?”The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, “It’s $1.00 per word.” The brunette thinks about this and says,”Comfortable, write that.”"Comfortable?” the guy questions.”Yes, you see she reads slow.”

I Want Some Milk

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, “I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?”Gloria said, “I want 15 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath.”Alan asked, “Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?”Gloria replied, “No, just up to my waist.”

Question and answer blond jokes

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?A: To avoid the draft.Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?A: Because the can said “concentrate” on it.Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?A: Trying to hold on to a thought.Q: Why don’t blondes have elevator jobs?A: They don’t know the route.Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Blond medical terminology

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|Artery — Study of paintingsBacteria — Back door of cafeteriaBarium — What doctors do when treatment failsBowel — Letter like A.E.I.O.UCaesarean section — District in RomeCat scan — Searching for kittyCauterize — Made eye contact with herColic — Sheep dogComa — A punctuation markCongenital — FriendlyD&C — Where Washington isDiarrhea — Journal of daily eventsDilate — To live longEnema — Not a friendFester — QuickerFibula — A small lieG.I. Series — Soldiers’ ball gameGrippe — SuitcaseHangnail — CoathookImpotent — Distinguished, well knownIntense pain — Torture in a teepeeLabor pain — Got hurt at workMedical staff — Doctor’s caneMorbid — Higher offerNitrate — Cheaper than day rateNode — Was aware ofOutpatient — Person who had faintedPelvis — Cousin of ElvisPost operative — Letter carrierProtein — Favoring young peopleRectum — It almost killed himRecovery room — Place to do upholsteryRheumatic — AmorousScar — Rolled tobacco leafSecretion — Hiding anythingSeizure — Roman emperorSerology — Study of knighthoodTablet — Small tableTerminal illness — Sickness at airportTibia — Country in North AfricaTumor — An extra pairUrine — Opposite of you’re outVaricose — Located nearbyVein — Conceited

How do I get across that river?

Saturday, March 31st, 2007
|A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her.”How can I get to the other side of the river?” she shouts loudly.The other blonde replied “What for? You are already on the other side of the river!”