Archive for the ‘Camping Jokes’ Category

Catching the fish

Thursday, May 10th, 2007
|Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?” “Why do you want me to throw them at you?” “Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.” “Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy.” “But why?” “Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight.

Fishermen meet

Thursday, May 10th, 2007
|When Fishermen Meet”Hiyamac”"Lobuddy”"Binearlong?”"Coplours”"Cetchenny?”"Goddafew”"Kindarthay?”"Bassencarp”"Ennysizetoom?”"Couplapowns”"Hittinhard?”"Sordalike”"Wachoosen?”"Gobbawurms”"Fishanonaboddum?”"Rydononaboddum”"Whatchadrinkin?”"Jugajimbeam”"Igoddago”"Tubad”"Seeyaroun”"Yeahtakideezy”"Guluck”

Some fishing terms

Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
|Ten common fishing terms explainedCatch and Release – A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it’s limit. Hook – (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman’s wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook). Line – Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend. Lure – An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop. Reel – A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard. Rod – An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish. School – A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead. Tackle – What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard. Tackle Box – A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one. Test – (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming “that darn line” for once again losing the fish.

Fishermen killed

Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
|Many years ago, a fisherman’s wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn’t think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, “Let’s not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us.” After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn’t matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. “Let’s call the boys Towards and Away,” suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as Towards and Away. The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, “Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea.” They provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three month voyage. The three months passed quickly for the fisherman’s wife, yet the ship had not returned. Another three months passed, and still no ship. Three whole years passed before the greiving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband. “My goodness! What has happened to my darling boys?” she cried. The ragged fisherman began to tell his story: “We were just barely one whole day out to see when Towards hooked into a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again.” “Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of been!” “Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away….”

Catching many fish

Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
|A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, ” Only caught one, eh?”