Archive for the ‘Drunks’ Category

Things that are difficult to say when you are drunk

Friday, March 9th, 2007
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:IndubitablyInnovativePreliminaryProliferationCinnamonTHINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:SpecificityBritish ConstitutionPassive-aggressive disorderLoquacious TransubstantiateTHINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:Thanks, but I don’t want to have sexNope, no more booze for meSorry, but you’re not really my typeGood evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight

Sign of drinking problem

Friday, March 9th, 2007
Sign of drinking problem…You shout, “I’m not as think you drunk I am.”Sent by JC

Drinking problem

Friday, March 9th, 2007
Buford: Man, have you got a drinking problem! Mongo: The hell I do! Buford: The hell you don’t!Mongo: I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink…I get drunk…I fall down. No problem!

5 drinks

Friday, March 9th, 2007
A well dressed gentlemen enters the bar of a five star restaurant, sits at the bar and orders four very expensive drinks. The bartender serves them on a silver tray, setting all four in front of the patron. The man then consumes all four drinks in a matter of seconds. The bartender comments, “Wow, you sure must have a problem.” “If you had what I had,” the man replies, “you’d drink them fast, too.” Leaning over, the sympathetic bartender asks, “What do you have?” “Fifty cents,” the man answers.

There was a young Scotsman called Andy…

Thursday, March 8th, 2007
There was a young Scotsman called Andy,Who knocked over his bottle of Shandy.He lifted his kilt,To wipe up what he spilt,And the barmaid said, “Blimey! That’s handy!”