Archive for the ‘Instrument Jokes’ Category

Phone songs

Sunday, September 16th, 2007
|All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes.Mary Had A Little Lamb3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111 Olympic Fanfare3-9-91231, 2222-32112312, 3-9-91231, 2222-32112321 The Butterfly Song963, 23621, 3693236236932362, 963, 23621 Happy Birthday112, 163, 112, 196, 110, 8521, 008, 121

Arriving in Heaven

Sunday, September 16th, 2007
|Arriving in HeavenThree men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter.St. Peter: Hi, what’s your name?Paul: My name is Paul.St. Peter: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?Paul: 120K.St. Peter: Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money?Paul: I was a lawyer.St. Peter: That’s great. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what’s your name?Roger: My name is Roger.St. Peter: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?Roger: 60K.St. Peter: Hey, that’s great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a living?Roger: I was an accountant.St. Peter: That’s very good. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what’s your name?John: My name is John.St. Peter: Hi, John. Tell me, John, how much were you earning when you died?John: About $23,000.St. Peter: Hey, that’s fantastic, John! Tell me, what instrument did you play?

What’s that sound?

Sunday, September 16th, 2007
|A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper.She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is.The local person replies, “Oh, that is Beethoven. He’s decomposing.”

Where are we?

Sunday, September 16th, 2007
|Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, “Where are we?”Rachmaninov said, “Carnegie Hall, sir!”

Musician jokes

Sunday, August 26th, 2007
|Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, “I can do that!”Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?A: Bach in the saddle again.Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it’s electrified.Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.Q: Why don’t they know where Mozart is buried?A: Because he’s Haydn!Q: What’s musical and handy in a supermarket?A: A Chopin Liszt.Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?A: A pair of Re-bachs.Q: What do you call a male quartet?A: Three men and a tenor.