Archive for the ‘School’ Category

A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University…

Saturday, February 10th, 2007
A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hopedto attend the following autumn. As he was walking across the Quad, he stopped a distinguished-looking man and asked: “Sir, can you pleasetell me where your library is at?”The man looked down his nose and replied: “Son, I’m head of the English department, and I can assure you we don’t end our sentences with prepositions. Re-cast your sentence in a proper form and I will reply.”"Can you tell me where your library is at, ass-hole?”Sent by Randy

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear…

Saturday, February 10th, 2007
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. Discipline was not a problem from that day forth!

What is the difference between a hockey game…

Saturday, February 10th, 2007
What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion? At a hockey game you see fast pucks.

A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students…

Saturday, February 10th, 2007
A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, “Oh, no, I wanted it the other way.” She replied, “What other way?”

Expands up to six times its size

Saturday, February 10th, 2007
Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, “Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it’s normal size, and state the conditions.”Mary gasped and said in a huff, “Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going tohear of it when I get home!”She sat down, red-faced.”Susan, can you tell me the answer?” asked Mr. Baldwin.”The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions,” said Susan.”Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you. First, you have not studied your lesson. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday!”