Archive for the ‘War’ Category

Good sales strategy

Sunday, February 25th, 2007
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advisednew recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this,the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jones’ sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, “If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, thegovernment has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don’thave a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government onlyhas to pay a maximum of $6000.” “Now,” he concluded, “which group do YOU think they are going to sendinto battle first?”

The company sergent is briefing the recruits…

Saturday, February 24th, 2007
The company sergent is briefing the recruits:”For the next ten weeks the commanding officer will be your father,and I will be your mother. Incidentally we are not married, so youknow what that makes you…”

A drill instructor at Airborne school was…

Saturday, February 24th, 2007
A drill instructor at Airborne school was lecturing a groupof new troops on making a proper jump. He told them:”When I yell Stand Up, you Stand Up. When I yell hook up,you hook up. When you go out the door, yell ‘Geronimo!’ and wait for your shoot to open. Got It? Good, get in the plane.”After a short flight he yelled “Stand UP! Hook UP!” and beganshoving the troops out the door. Just after the last trooperexited, the sergeant shut the door. Suddenly, he heard someoneknocking on the door. He opened it to see a private flapping his arms trying to imitate a seagull. The private looked himin the eye and asked What did you say that SOB’s name was?

At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer…

Saturday, February 24th, 2007
At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, “Will we have to fight a World War Three?” “Yes, comrades, looks like you will,” answers the general. “And who will be our enemy, Comrade General?” another officer asks. “The likelihood is that it will be China.” The class looks alarmed, and finally one officer asks, “But Comrade General, we are 150 million people and they are about 1.5 billion. How can we possibly win?” “Well,” replies the general, “Think about it. In modern war, it is not the quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in the Middle East, 5 million Jews fight against 50 million Arabs, and the Jews have been the winners every time.” “But sir,” asks the panicky officer, “Do we have enough jews”?

A recruit who wasn’t really meant to be a soldier…

Saturday, February 24th, 2007
A recruit who wasn’t really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills behind them. Despondent, he said to the sergeant, “I think I’ll just go and shoot myself.”The sergeant said, “Better take a couple of extra bullets!”